Hello darling boy. I know it has been so long since I've written. Our talks more happen when I have a moment to look at your picture, by our bed with candle and sage, or when I am outside by your big tree, or anytime that I just miss you so much.
And since I just got back from recording an album about all the love you've given us, all we've learned, how our hearts have been molded by you, and this music is coming together with so much tenderness and ringing and beauty, that your dad and I are just sort of in heartache from it. Brings back a lot, brings us back to the time when you were here and died, and that is just overwhelming. We love you so much, and always will, I am so happy to be singing to you, and that people will get to hear this, and I hope, be comforted. I hope they hear that loving is still worth everything.
I'm remembering these little moments. The shape of your forehead. How much I tried to memorize it before I had to give you away. I remember that feeling of just loving your shapes so much. I miss you so much. I wish I still had my boy here. It does hurt. But your love has made my life better and I always want to learn to freely love moments, to be filled with contentment more than fear. To learn to just be here.
Thank you for your love, my darling.
