Monday, March 23, 2009

Hello my darling boy.  Thank you for being close to me.  With the new life of spring, I find myself missing you so much, even as I feel all the hope of blossoms and little green leaves all around us.  

Last night when I was crying, you reminded me that I can hold you now too. So I closed my eyes and put my hands on my heart and belly, and imagined you there.  Your spirit is here, and I can hold you any time. Thank you for reminding me.

Last night Bo cut his foot and had to get stitches.  It was very hard to go to the vet - where they tell  us what they'll do to our little dog, needles and how much time we need to leave him there, and I always sob when I leave because it puts us right back in the hospital with you.  I look at other people looking distraught in the vet's office and I think, "well, I lost my BABY!" that's different than a dog. 

Still, I was so glad to get him back and we let him sleep in bed with us because he was so disoriented, and because I needed to cuddle with him.  He's warm.

Yesterday you turned 7 months old. You'd be sitting up now and smiling and giving so much love.  It's hard to know that, and it's beautiful too in some way. Happy 7 months birthday my darling boy. I miss you so much.

Mama

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