I am quiet. I haven't had as much to say lately. But you are always with me. Looked at pictures of you all weekend with Julianne. We cried for you and kissed your photos. We wondered why and sent love.
I am right here. Not knowing if I should hope or just not think. I am here, on this March Monday, the night has come, the winds are strong outside and it's cold. Its' rained a lot. You knew only summer and heat while you were here. You didn't know winter.
I know there are joyful times ahead. I accept my sadness. I don't feel like hoping right now. I want to sit and write small thoughts and meditate in front of candles and accept this cold winter wind. There are a few flowers, there are bulbs of gladiolas and dahlias to plant that your dad helped me pick out from the nursery this weekend.
That gives me hope. That we stood in front of the stand of bulbs and pointed to our favorite colors, and took them home for planting.
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