Hello Baby

Thank you for being so close. 

Thank you for the sweet sounds you made with your mouth when I was holding you for the first time, little suckling sounds.

Thank you for nuzzling into me when I held you.

All of these things stay with me, and I will always have them.

Sometimes my life seems so long when I think of how much time there is left without you.  So long for you to not be here as my son, my baby, a grown man. 

I heard an interview with John Mellencamp today and he said when he was born he had a disease or problem that usually killed the babies who had it, and they operated on him, at the neck, which usually caused paralyzation from the incision down.  But somehow, he was fine, had a normal childhood and life.

And I listened to him singing and wondered what you would have been like in your life, what you would have done with it if you had the chance. Would you be a songwriter? Would you write poetry? This baby almost died, but didn't and grew up to sing for people. I wish I could know what you would have been like.

And I am still here. And my life is still here, and I should cherish it.